I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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