dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
