i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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