Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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