Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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