Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
