can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
