I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
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I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
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Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize