Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize