I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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