You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
