and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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