her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
