I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
