Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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