problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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