One girl and one boy is just not enough.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
