All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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