Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
