Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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