dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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