Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
