I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
