mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
