i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
