You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I got inside last night via doggy door
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
