Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
