shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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