Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
did i walk over a car last night?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
