his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
