Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You ate ashes out of my bong
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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