We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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