No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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