Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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