singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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