First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
