Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The air was thick with penises
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
