he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
