She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
