I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
