So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
