I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
