You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
