Actions speak louder than pants.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
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I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
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THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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