Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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