I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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