Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
if you like me you must not know who I am
My friends, they love my intelligence
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
