If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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