My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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