I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
