TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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