My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
