The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
