Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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