there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
