NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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