sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I looked at my own cervix.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
