My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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