I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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