We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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