Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
