Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize